belle - tilapia

So the kids are all begging for tilapia lately, and one night we were eating dinner and Belle looks up and says "Daddy, I know when we eat it it's white, but what color is tilapia when its...you know...still a REAL fish"

derek

So Derek was watching a Thomas movie and during a silent few seconds of the movie he went over and turned the volume all the way up with that little devilish smile...and all of a sudden the narrator screams "YOU ARE A VERY DISOBEDIENT LITTLE ENGINE!". His eyes got huge and he backed away and started crying very quietly...priceless! :-)

My shining mommy moment :-)

So I got home from the retreat last night and Belle just started melting down at dinner, turning her nose up, and just not being really nice. I kindly asked her to go to her room and decide if she wanted to join us and eat like a big girl, or if she wanted to go ahead and go to bed (it was almost 8).
She came back down saying she wanted to eat, but just sat there pouting instead. So, I told her that she was deciding to go to bed and removed her plate from her reach. She refused to go upstairs, so Chris took her to her room, and closed the door. She then proceeded to scream and cry and bang on the door for about 20 minutes while we were finishing dinner.
I went upstairs and very non-emotionally and non-involved, I directed her through getting ready for bed and had her wait for me to tuck her in.
And I know God definitely gave me the words to say because I NEVER come up with good stuff to say to her on my own! But we had spent the whole weekend talking about gratitude and being thankful...and here goes.
I started by saying "Belle, I don't want you to talk for a few minutes, just listen...what if tomorrow you woke up and immediately said 'Oh man, it's cold outside! I hate it when it's cold out!', and then you went to get dressed and said 'man, I wanted to wear my purple shirt, but it's dirty so now I have to wear this pink one', and then you went downstairs and said "darn it! I wanted froot loops, but instead I have to eat these cheerios', etc. I went through her day and picked about 10 different situations for her to have a negative response to. Then I asked her, 'How would your day be? Do you think it would be a good day or a bad day?' to which she said "That sounds like a BAD day!" I confirmed that I agreed with that for sure!
"So, then, what if instead you woke up tomorrow and said "oh, it's snowing...but that means it will snow soon and I love to play in the snow!" And then, you said "Hmmm, I wanted to wear my purple shirt, but I can't...but this pink one is much warmer anyway, so I won't have to be cold!" and then, "You know, I wanted froot loops this morning, but they make me super hyper and these cheerios don't, so they might help me to not get into as much trouble today!" etc.
"How would that day go? Good or bad?" 'Oh, that would be a good day!'
Yey! She's catching on!!!!
I then shared about how when she has a grateful heart it helps her to have a great day, even when things aren't going her way! And, when she's happy, those around her are usually happy! And when she's sad, everyone around her becomes sad.
Then I shared with her that "Luckily, mommy and daddy, and Julie and Derek are your family. that means we'll love you no matter what. even when you're being nasty to us, we'll still love you. But you know what? Your friends? They might not stick around like we do. If you had just treated Ashlynn like you treated mommy, she might decide to not be your friend anymore." This surprised her greatly!
"So when we send you to your room for being nasty to us, that's our way of helping you remember that if you had just behaved that way to a friend, you might have just lost that friend."
Then I told her about the idea of starting a gratitude journal to help us remember the things we are most grateful for. I was telling her about writing 4 big things and then 4 little things..."So, would my bed be a little thing or a big thing?" I said, "Well, that's sort of a little thing, but you know what? MOST kids in this world don't get to sleep in a nice soft, warm bed. Did you know that? Most kids in ths world get to sleep on hard, cold, muddy dirt floors." (She looked shocked, even though we talk about this often)..."And you know what else? That food you turned your nose up at? There are so many kids in this world who would BEG you for that food, just so they don't have to go hungry tonight."
"When you go to bed hungry it's because you CHOSE to not eat the food you were given...but these kids, so many kids, they go to bed hungry because they don't have ANY food to eat. It's not a choice for them. Lots of kids don't even get to eat one meal every day."
"And as far as being angry about things not being fair or not getting your way...these kids not having a warm bed to sleep in, or food in their tummies, that's unfair, that's sad, that's worth being angry about and wanting to do something about! But not getting the exact meal you wanted to eat every single mealtime, that's not something that's unfair. Because you're not being forced to go to bed hungry."
I then asked her to tell me some things that she could be thankful for about mealtime tonight, even though she didn't want what was on her plate...we came up with 1. it was made with love, 2. she had food to put in her tummy so she wasn't hungry, and 3. she got to use a fork (I pointed out that the kids from Uganda that we had dinner with didn't use a fork to eat their rice, b/c they had never used one before), so she could be grateful that she didn't have to just eat out her dirty yucky hands.
that's THREE things to be grateful for about a meal she totally doesn't want to eat!
So we then named about 10 things she was grateful for in her day. And I left her with "Now, I would like you to lay here and say a prayer to God, thanking Him for all those 10 things we just talked about. Tell Him how grateful you are for all the blessings that He gives us! And ask Him to help you to be more grateful for things, and less angry about not getting your way."
I walked away feeling like that was just the best parenting moment I've had with her! She seemed to get it!
And, though I know it will probably take hundreds of conversations just like that one, this morning she woke up and we were rushed to get out of the house for MOPS, and I had the best morning ever with her! She was helpful, kind, thoughtful, and appreciative all morning! Lucky for me b/c I knew I was going to have to get them lunch on the way to school, so I made a big deal in the car to mops, that because she had such a gracious heart and was so kind and agreeable this morning, that I was going to be treating them all to McDonalds! So of course she was super excited!

Annabelle's so cute

Belle, Chris, and myself were playing a game the other day where you rolled a die, moved to a space containing a letter, and then had to draw a picture of a word that started with that letter...while using the actual letter in the drawing.
Chris got to the letter J...and Belle said "I know what you're gonna draw, Daddy!"
"You can draw a Jragon!"
You couldn't really argue that Dragon actually starts with a D...it does sound like a J!
Why is the English language so complicated?!

New Life for Girls

A few weeks ago we went to New Life for Girls in Westminster. It was me, Tricia, Chrissy, Carol Davis, and Elizabeth Anglin.
I really didn't know what to expect! I was a little nervous...and was so glad when Tricia told me she was too!
We cooked dinner and brought it to them and sat around talking and making some cards. We sang together. It was awesome!
They each have amazing stories of how they got there, the things they have gone through in their lives, etc. It felt so good to be there just as an encouragement to them on their journey!
Ann talked about how she was kicked out of AA and told to go to the hospital and tell them she was going to kill herself. She didn't want to lie and so when she got to the hospital she asked them where the closest liquor store was. They wouldn't tell her. The security guard overheard her and after she called herself a cab, he asked her if she would like a bed and a warm breakfast in the morning. She didn't know if she should go with him, so he said if she wanted to go, to sit on the curb and he'd pick her up in about 15 minutes when his shift was over.
The cab came and asked her who the cab was for, and she said she didn't know why, but she told him she didn't know! She sat on the curb and waited...and waited...and finally the security guard pulled up and took her to his house, where his wife and children were waiting for her at home. She was there with them for 2 weeks! They took her out to eat, treated her so nicely, had the in-laws stay with her for a few days while the family went on a short vacation, etc. One day he told Ann that he had made a few calls and found a place for her...and wanted her to call them if she was ready to go. She called New Life, and not only went, but that security guard paid in full for her...everything...all the fees, all the evaluations, everything!
Lori said she had been an alcoholic for 20 years or so. She was clean for 5 years and thought she could handle anything. But then her son died, and 8 months later, her husband was murdered. She fell right back into it and is now back in rehab. She has a 9 and 11 year old.
She spoke of a time in college before she was a believer when a man would walk down the street everyday, evangilizing door to door. She said she told him he was not allowed to enter her property, not even her driveway. But each day he came by and stopped at her sidewalk and went on. One day he heard her listening to rock music. The next day she found a Christian Rock cd in her mailbox. She finally listened to it because she liked the beat...then the words started sinking in. Then, one day, she met that man by her mailbox...he led her to Christ and then married her! What an amazing heart for God he had!
We're going back on August 21, so more then!

Shepard's Hands

This past weekend I went to Baltimore City to hand out clothes and food to the homeless. It was definitely outside of my comfort zone, but oddly enough I was not uncomfortable there at all! There were so many people there to help and lots of people there helping them!
I got to spend the whole time handing out Bibles and Jesus bracelets to individuals...which I had never done before. It was such a special time though! People were so grateful and were mostly excited to listen!
We met a woman who said she was just baptized 4 weeks ago. She was shining when she talked about how she hadn't missed a Sunday church service yet since then! She got sad and started to tear up though when she told us how she didn't know how to pray so instead she just would remain silent. She said when she gets angry now she just tries to be still and wait for God to calm her down. I told her how great that was because most of us are still spewing all of our thoughts at God while He's trying to say "Shush girl I'm trying to talk to you!"...
We met a man who, after telling him the story and offering him a bracelet, showed us his warn bracelet on his arm and said he should be telling us the story! He was so nice, and I offered him a second bracelet and Bible to hand out to someone he knows. I then helped him look for some clothes for his "full figured" wife (she wasn't there) and when he picked up a pair of jeans and said "this might fit her" I said, "You know what, it doesn't even matter! Women don't care if things you pick out fit...she'll just be so glad you thought of her!" His face just lit up!
Heather was telling the Jesus story and I was just handing out the Bibles all day...and then I was given the bracelets to hand out. I was very nervous and stalled for a long time. But I'm glad I stepped out and got out of my comfort zone before I left and handed out the last bracelet to an older woman. She got all teary eyed when I told her and thanked me so much.
One of the women we talked to came back before I left just to thank me for taking the time to talk with her, and how special that was!
I love what Heather said about the beads, so I am going to share that, so I remember!
She would walk up to people and say "When you have a minute, I have a story that I'd love to share with you if you'd like to hear it." When they would come over, she would show them the bracelet and say,
"This story probably isn't new to you, but this was a new way of remembering it for me...This bracelet is to remind us of God's love and plan for us. This gold bead represents when God made us. We were perfect, made in His image...but then this black bead represents sin. Everyone sins...we might show it differently, but we all do it. But then this middle bead, the red, one, this is the most special one! It reminds us that Christ shed his blood on the cross for us! To make us clean, the white bead! He took all that sin away from us! Then this last bead, the green one, it represents us growing. Growing closer and closer to Him."
Then we would ask if they would like to wear it and would tie it on for them.

It's ok Bible Study

So last night we were looking for pictures of happy and sad in Julie's Bible study book. We finally found a little child crying and I asked Julie "What do you think happened?" She reaches over and starts stroking the picture saying "It's ok Bible Study" :-)
She repeated it again tonight. We were trying so hard to get her to look at the picture and tell us what she thinks just happened, and all she says is "It's ok Bible Study, it's ok"